Journal Of An Autistic Woman Nov. 27 2007
Tuesday, Nov. 27, 2007
I’m watching the 5:00 news on TV, and they’re talking about the upcoming holidays. The holidays really stress me out, and I can’t even start thinking about them until we accomplish this semester. There are papers to grade and finals to give. Mark’s having surgery on his elbow on December 10th, which is the first day on final exam week. I have to get it together, but I imagine all of the questions and demands. The students certainly have a write to ask questions, but I get so overwhelmed! If only I could teach online and conduct research for a living…then I would feel like I was really using my Ph.D.
Tomorrow is my rough day. I’m teaching two classes during the day and a three hour night class. I do the best I can as a college instructor, but I feel like the students deserve someone who can connect with them. I can’t even look many of them in the eye! It’so hard to work in a classroom with all the noise.
I was officially diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS) about three weeks ago. PDD-NOS is an autism spectrum disorder (ASD). I happen to have symptoms of both Asperger’s syndrome and classical autism. I’m finally starting to get in touch with some people who want to investigate ASD’s in adults. I certainly do! But in the meantime, I still need to do my job and live my life. I have had my Ritalin increased (for ADHD) and was put on Depakote, an anticonvulsant. I have had seizures in the past, and I have such an intense sensitivity to light, sound, and touch. On Friday, I’m going to see the psychiatric practitioner nurse to tell her how I’m doing. I don’t know how much progress I’ve made.
I have mixed feelings about keeping this kind of a journal. In some ways, it makes me feel like I’m dwelling on the autism issue. In other ways, I feel like I’m helping to educate people from a first-hand perspective. Well, I guess that’s the “greater good”.
Well, like anything else, there are challenges and hard times ahead. But no matter how much I struggle, there are a lot of people who struggle more than I do. I need to remember those kids and adults with an ASD who can’t function on their own or who may never have a job or relationship. I need to remember how fortunate I am to have people who love me and support me in spite of my limitations.
Question to Readers: Do you know anyone with an autism spectrum disorder? Child or adult?
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